In my first post, I gave a brief history of feminism and now I will explain how that same feminism is slowly destroying the interaction of the sexes.
In times past, men and women did not interact how we do today. Women in the patriarch system were under the protection of her father and when she reached marrying age she couldn’t tell her dad ‘ I wanna marry this guy cause he’s cute’ , a woman had to be courted and if an agreement was made depending on the culture a bride price was paid and then the marriage ceremony. Courtship is the period in a couple’s relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple gets to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or a public affair, or a formal agreement with family approval. Courting allowed for each party to see if this person was someone committed to all that marriage had to offer. For example will this man be able to provide for me and any children we may have? can he be a leader in the home? can she be a dutiful and submissive wife? will she raise our children with moral integrity.
Courtship was the first step in picking a potential spouse, a step that many in today’s society prefer to skip over and wonder why they relationships are always failing especially with my generation. We don’t have relationship we prefer instant gratification, we are not willing to make the sacrifices and committed it takes to be in a serious relationship or marriage and that is what is required. If you stopped reading because of the word submissive then I ask, why does that word bother you so? take a moment and reflect on that. The word submissive has become such a negative word in our society especially when talking about interaction between the sexes. Women are told that submissive is to essentially be a doormat to a man, become his own personal doll that does whatever he says without question when that it is not true. Are there some men out there in this world that abuses their role as protector, provider and leader of their household – yes but does that mean I need to group that small few into the rest of the male populace? no it doesn’t. We all submissive in our day to day life, being submissive is to respect and obey authority. If you are a christian, you submit to God, muslims to Allah, citizens to their government, children to their parents. So why in a relationship can a woman not submit to her husbands authority when she does so else where?
In order for a relationship to work is by each party assuming a role and trying not to usurp the other positions which will only lead to dysfunction and chaos. In American society male and female roles can and mostly is define in the most simplest terms; the man is the breadwinner and the women is the homemaker. Now we can still fulfill these roles even though we as women have careers but depending on the type of career will affect how well a woman can handle the balance of wife/motherhood with being a working women which often does not end well. These roles as well in the eyes of feminism has be twisted and many look down on women that prefer to be the traditional model of femininity and that is at home raising her children and making sure they grow into decent human beings. During the first couple of years of childhood it is vital for a child to be with his/her mother and personal I’m not fond of placing children into daycare to be taken care of by strangers. We don’t as adults let our children walk off with strangers so why leave them in the care of one. Now I know for many daycare is the only option due to work but then that brings me to the balancing act of career and family, is it really worth it? cause as a parent you can not get those years you missed back.
If both parties have a clear sense of what role they will bring to a relationship then courtship can begin properly. As women we must avoid listening to or follow our hearts because many times our emotions can cloud our better judgment and then we find ourselves in the same predicament that we were in before and we need to break that cycle ladies. Take responsibilities for the choices that we have made in choosing spouses because many times we fall for the bad boy because has traits of an alpha. Also we as females need to stop engaging in sex with the first few dates of meeting a guy. We shouldn’t let me into the cave of wonders unless he has shown and prove that his is a diamond in the rough. For some women this may be the 90 day rule as stated in Steve Harvey’s book ‘ Act Like a Lady but Think Like A Man’ or for some women the honeymoon is when they prefer to let him in. Whatever your belief system may be, as women we need to do better because the current mindset of engaging in just casual and mindless sex is fun for awhile but it doesn’t last long and then you are out their looking for another fix and putting at risk your emotional health and physical health as well.
Feminism has created this split between how women interact with men by having women slowly fill the role that was primarily filled by men. So if the role of the man of the house has already been filled, why even date or get married? if you’re reading and say sex, my response would be that we have sex toys which then itself also renders the need for a man pointless. So he has essentially been replace in his role by females and sex toys. So how can we as women reverse this process so we can break this wheel of women that can’t find a good man . We break the wheel by releasing the role of the man back to the males. We let ourselves be submissive to his authority, we let go of this attitude of I don’t need no man. As human beings we all eventually need someone, its in our nature and the more we defy nature the more problems will arise which brings me to part III of this series in which I will discuss why attraction and looking feminine is important .
Jr., Thomas Umstattd. “The 4000 Year History of Courtship by Thomas Umstattd Jr.” Thomas Umstattd Jr., 30 May 2015, http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2015/05/history-of-courtship/.
Crier, Christian. “What Does Submissive Mean? A Biblical Definition of Submission or Submissive.” Christian Crier, 19 Aug. 2015, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2015/08/19/what-does-submissive-mean-a-biblical-definition-of-submission-or-submissive/.