This Saturday is Valentine’s Day and many women 20 and up will be waiting in line with either their girlfriends or dragging their husbands or boyfriends or gay best friend to see Fifty Shades of Grey (which comes out on Friday). This book has sparked a debated among Americans especially women about a taboo subject. Fifty Shades of Grey has become so popular that it has seriously gotten on my nerves. Ever since it hit the shelves everyone hasn’t stop talking about it (I don’t even know why I’m writing about it) and personally I don’t see it has a big of a deal but maybe because it’s because I have reached that point in my life yet where one experiences sexual intimacy.
Fifty Shades is at its core a fictional romance novel about a young woman name Anastasia and the guy who catches her eye Christian Grey, however the due to Mr. Grey’s singular taste has got women mostly moms yearning for something a bit more kinky in the bedroom. BDSM is very taboo in our society given it’s nature involving ropes,spanking and other things. B&D (bondage and discipline) with S&M (sadomasochism, or sadism and masochism) is seen to many as a very unhealthy sexual relationship and one can see why. This form of sexual activity involves some serious trust between both partners
On a physical level, BDSM is commonly misconceived to be “all about pain”. Most often, though, BDSM practitioners are primarily concerned with power, humiliation, and pleasure.Of the three categories of BDSM, only sadomasochism specifically requires pain, but this is typically a vehicle for feelings of humiliation, dominance, etc. The aspects of D/s and B/D may not include physical suffering at all, but include the sensations inherited by different emotions of the mind. Dominance & submission of power is an entirely different experience, and is not always psychologically associated with physical pain. Many BDSM activities might not involve any kind of pain or humiliation, but just the exchange of Powers (Power Exchange). During the activities, the practitioners may feel endorphins comparable to the so-called “runner’s high” or to the afterglow of orgasm. The correspondingtrance-like mental state is also known as “subspace” for the submissive, or “topspace” for the dominant. Some use the term “body stress” to describe this physiological sensation. This experience of algolagnia is important, but is not the only motivation for many BDSM practitioners. The philosopher Edmund Burke defines this sensation of pleasure derived from pain by the word sublime. There is a wide array of BDSM practitioners who take part in sessions for which they do not receive any personal gratification. They enter such situations solely with the intention to allow their partners to fulfill their own needs or fetishes. They do this in exchange of money for the session activities
Some research finds that people who engage in this kinky activity are mentally okay.
People who are into kinky sex may be psychologically healthier than those who are not, says a new study. Researchers found that people who were involved in BDSM — bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism — scored better on certain indicators of mental health than those who did not bring kink into the bedroom, reported LiveScience.
The study, which was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in May, surveyed 902 people who practice BDSM and 434 people who prefer so-called “vanilla” (non-kinky) sex. Each person filled out questionnaires regarding their personalities, general well-being, sensitivity to rejection and style of attachment in relationships. The participants were not aware of the purpose of the study.
Despite past assumptions that BDSM proclivities might be correlated with previous abuse, rape or mental disorders (research has shown that they’re not), this survey found that kinky people actually scored better on many indicators of mental health than those who didn’t practice BDSM, reported LiveScience. According to Reuters, BDSM-friendly participants were found to be less neurotic, more open, more aware of and sensitive to rejection, more secure in their relationships and have better overall well-being.
Andreas Wismeijer, a psychologist at Nyenrode Business University in the Netherlands and the lead author on the study, told LiveScience that people involved in the BDSM community may have scored better on these surveys because they tend to be more aware of and communicative about their sexual desires, or because they have done some “hard psychological work” to accept and live with sexual needs that are beyond the scope of what is often considered socially acceptable to discuss in the mainstream.
This research isn’t necessarily representative of the general population since participants were selected on a volunteer basis, but it does support the argument for removing BDSM from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). In the current DSM, BDSM fetishes are listed as “paraphilia,” which essentially encompasses any “unusual” sexual preferences
Fifty Shades of Grey has sparked a nice little debate that has people talking which is a good thing. However I believe when it comes to sex especially when it’s between two consenting adults -leave it alone. What people do in the privacy of their home is none of the publics’ business unless you put it out there for the world to see. If moms want to read about Christian Grey then let them read about him – HE IS NOT REAL! this book is meant for entertainment that is all and truly the only reason this book and film is such a big deal is because of the taboo subject of bdsm. I have read plenty of romance novels and have seen many on the shelves in bookstores and walmart and not a single one of them has caught the attention of the American public like Fifty Shades of Grey. We as a society should be careful of what is put into our media but trying to regulate or control what a married couple or consenting adults want to do sexually is too much. If bdsm is not your taste then dont’ go see the movie, and don’t read the book, nobody is dragging you to see this film ( unless you’re a guy and your female companion wants to see this for V-Day then I’m sorry for you) just let people be.
- Psychology Today
- BDSM Coach
- BDSM Myths
- Sex in Christ
- BDSM & Christians
- House of Rose
- Christian Women Magazine
- Spiritual Sound Board