Choose A Side

When it comes to sex, Christians are the first speak up especially when it comes to sexual immorality but I always wondered why do they care so much? I just don’t understand, why is another person’s sex life any of their business.


I have seen so many blogs written by Christians on sex whether its about sex in marriage, pre-martial sex, homosexual sex, or virginity, these god-fearing people have a lot to say. However I can only speak from my own experience which I actually lack but it does bother me as a female that if I’m not considered ‘pure’ that I should somehow feel ashamed or unworthy of a good husband. There is a lot of blogs for women and young girls to keep their virginity for their marriage and it’s always told to them that is a special gift. Now this sounds nice but do Christians truly understand what this might sound like to a young girl or young woman- I doubt they do. Telling young women that the piece of flesh that is in between their legs is a gift makes it sound as if they are some prize to be won and shown off. In my previous post ‘Marriage, A Brief History’ I pointed out that a couple of symbolism that is in a wedding, the veil is a symbolism of a man taking a women’s virginity. Why so much emphasis on a women keeping her hymen intact, but not so much on males?


Purity Balls are quite common, having young girls pledge their sexuality to their fathers then once married to their husbands. When does the woman control her own sexuality? I have no issue with a man and woman coming together as the bible says ‘ become one flesh” but it seems that certain aspects are just controlling. Since the women’s suffrage, their has been a change in the dynamics of how women view themselves and their behavior in society. Woman are more independent, more sexual activity and more opinionated letting their voices be heard. Now as much as I love feminism and what it stands for it has become tainted and skewed from its original purpose and developed like a cancer having a  negative effect on women.


The Bible and Feminism are two very strong opposing opposites. On one side the bible holds a traditional,biblical view of womanhood. Submissive, modesty,pure, motherly while feminism holds women as independent,vixens, outspoken; both are two extremes in which a woman must choose a side. There is nothing wrong with being modest or submissive or pure and motherly but that is only one side of a woman and for the negative aspect is seen as being prude or unattractive. As for being independent and outspoken, again there is nothing wrong with that but with sexual liberation comes a huge responsibility. There is a difference between being a lady and a whore and in this day and age that line has become blurred. In every generation there are a set of rules on how a young woman acts versus how a harlot behaves. Clothing to mannerism, behaving like a harlot  has become the normal for most women in this Western society and we need to fix it; slut-shaming is also a problem in our society that needs to be fixed.


I think both feminism and biblical womanhood need some areas that truly need to be fixed. There are two sides of one coin that have both positive and negative traits.  I believe woman need both because they both have something to give to woman so she can be a whole person and not just half a glass.


Choose A Side:






4 thoughts on “Choose A Side

  1. I think purity balls are just a terrible idea. They’re as bad for boys as they are for girls, for not only do they objectify the girls and reinforce the idea that they are property; they also encourage young men to think this way, and the cycle continues for yet another generation. Also, there’s just something uncomfortably icky about purity balls, IMO. I don’t think it’s an appropriate thing for fathers to be doing.


    • I agree & i didn’t know they had one for boys. So do the boys vow their sexuality to their mother?


      • No no, I meant that the *idea* of purity balls isn’t a good influence for boys. Because if a boy is taught that he should only date girls who have taken vows of chastity to their fathers like that, well first of all that’s just not good in and of itself. I don’t have kids, but I sure wouldn’t want my boy to think that any girl he dates needs to be “pure” or something. And second, it’s also not good because then those boys grow up, become married, become fathers and will theoretically treat any daughters they have the same way. So more girls end up being brainwashed and more boys end up getting brainwashed to continue brainwashing girls. And on and on it goes.

        I don’t know if boys can have purity balls or not, but considering the American evangelical track record for double standards, it’s probably not a good bet.


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