Nothing Wrong With Being Feminine pt. II

In my first post, I gave a brief history of feminism and now I will explain how  that same feminism is slowly destroying the interaction of the sexes.

In times past, men and women did not interact how we do today.  Women in the patriarch system were under the protection of her father and when she reached marrying age she couldn’t tell her dad ‘ I wanna marry this guy cause he’s cute’ , a woman had to be courted and if an agreement was made depending on the culture a bride price was paid and then the marriage ceremony.  Courtship is the period in a couple’s relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind.  During courtship, a couple gets to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or agreement.  A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or a public affair, or a formal agreement with family approval. Courting allowed for each party to see if this person was someone committed to all that marriage had to offer. For example will this man be able to provide for me and any children we may have? can he be a leader in the home? can she be a dutiful and submissive wife? will she raise our children with moral integrity.


Courtship was the first step in picking a potential spouse, a step that many in today’s society prefer to skip over and wonder why they relationships are always failing especially with my generation. We don’t have relationship we prefer instant gratification, we are not willing to make the sacrifices and committed it takes to be in a serious relationship or marriage and that is what is required.  If you stopped reading because of the word submissive then I ask, why does that word bother you so? take a moment and reflect on that. The word submissive has become such a negative word in our society especially when talking about interaction between the sexes. Women are told that submissive is to essentially be a doormat to a man, become his own personal doll that does whatever he says without question when that it is not true. Are there some men out there in this world that abuses their role as protector, provider and leader of their household – yes but does that mean I need to group that small few into the rest of the male populace? no it doesn’t. We all submissive in our day to day life, being submissive is to respect and obey authority. If you are a christian, you submit to God, muslims to Allah, citizens to their government, children to their parents. So why in a relationship can a woman not submit to her husbands authority when she does so else where?

In order for a relationship to work is by each party assuming a role and trying not to usurp the other positions which will only lead to dysfunction and chaos.  In American society male and female roles can and mostly is define in the most simplest terms; the man is the breadwinner and the women is the homemaker. Now we can still fulfill these roles even though we as women have careers but depending on the type of career will affect how well a woman can handle the balance of wife/motherhood with being a working women which often does not end well.  These roles as well in the eyes of feminism has be twisted and many look down on women that prefer to be the traditional model of femininity and that is at home raising her children and making sure they grow into decent human beings. During the first couple of years of childhood it is vital for a child to be with his/her mother and personal I’m not fond of placing children into daycare to be taken care of by strangers. We don’t as adults let our children walk off with strangers so why leave them in the care of one. Now I know for many daycare is the only option due to work but then that brings me to the balancing act of career and family, is it really worth it?  cause as a parent you can not get those years you missed back.

If both parties have a clear sense of what role they will bring to a relationship then courtship can begin properly. As women we must avoid listening to or follow our hearts because many times our emotions can cloud our better judgment and then we find ourselves in the same predicament that we were in before and we need to break that cycle ladies. Take responsibilities for the choices that we have made in choosing spouses because many times we fall for the bad boy because has traits of an alpha.  Also we as females need to stop engaging in sex  with the first few dates of meeting a guy. We shouldn’t let me into the cave of wonders unless he has shown and prove that his is a diamond in the rough.  For some women this may be the 90 day rule as stated in Steve Harvey’s book ‘ Act Like a Lady but Think Like A Man’  or for some women the honeymoon is when they prefer to let him in. Whatever your belief system may be, as women we need to do better because the current mindset of engaging in just casual and mindless sex is fun for awhile but it doesn’t last long and then you are out their looking for another fix and putting at risk your emotional health and physical health as well.

Feminism has created this split between how women interact with men by having women slowly fill the role that was primarily filled by men. So if the role of the man of the house  has already been filled, why even date or get married? if you’re reading and say sex, my response would be that we have sex toys which then itself also renders the need for a man pointless. So he has essentially been replace in his role by females and sex toys.  So how can we as women reverse this process so we can break this wheel of women that can’t find a good man .  We break the wheel by releasing the role of the man back to the males. We let ourselves be submissive to his authority, we let go of this attitude of I don’t need no man. As human beings we all eventually need someone, its in our nature and the more we defy nature the more problems will arise which brings me to part III of this series in which I will discuss why attraction and looking feminine is important .

got break the wheel

 

 
Sources:

Jr., Thomas Umstattd. “The 4000 Year History of Courtship by Thomas Umstattd Jr.” Thomas Umstattd Jr., 30 May 2015, http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2015/05/history-of-courtship/.

Crier, Christian. “What Does Submissive Mean? A Biblical Definition of Submission or Submissive.” Christian Crier, 19 Aug. 2015, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2015/08/19/what-does-submissive-mean-a-biblical-definition-of-submission-or-submissive/.

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Why I Don’t Consider Myself A Feminist

Lately I have be revaluating my life and my goals. I have only one year left of school which once finished I will be a nurse and from there I want become a midwife. However, as much as I want to be a midwife I would also like to meet someone and get married. Unlike most women who probably dreamed of marriage and kids as a child, marriage wasn’t on my mind till college. Growing up my main goal was to finished school and not end up like some of my peers and becoming a teenage mom. If you ever read any post in the manosphere or my red pillers, you would mostly likely come across posts that stated its better to marry young especially for women due to the whole the eggs we have is our only set and once menopause sets in, its game over man. Now while this is true, things must be taken into consideration such as women are encourage to have higher education so they can have a career. Now with a career comes financial security something that a woman especially in this day and age or any person really searches for.

 

If you were to marry a man and he has a decent job then there is no need to worry about money right?, well not really with the current state of relationships and the interactions between the male and female genders marriage is no longer death till you part anymore. In case of separation or worse divorce, both partners need something to fall back on.  Back in the day a woman’s sole purpose was to be married in order to have the financial security because only men held property and had money. So as woman, we don’t have to rely solely on men for income any longer. However, it is impossible to juggle a full time career and one’s marriage. We see it time and time again, having a full time job puts stress on a person and sometimes leave said person no enjoy to give to their spouses leaving them feeling rejected which thus slowly turns into more problems in the marriage especially if children are involved.

 

Now to the real reason I wrote this post, as the title says I no longer call myself a feminist due to severely things with the number one reason being that the feminism of today is not the same as when it first start. Feminism is suppose to be about equality between the sexes however, if one we to search anyway on the internet or just look at what is going on in the world around you, you will see the many of the feminist today seem to be angry and bitter. The big dislike and loathe of anything that represents masculinity is clearly evident and while many things that are considered feminine is seen as something of the past that women should no longer want nor crave. Feminist see some women who choose to be submissive in marriage to be equivalent  to being under a man as his servant, however that is not so. There is nothing shamefully or weak in being submissive to the leader/head of your household. I think its weak not to be submissive because you are not allowing yourself to be fully committed to the relationship.

 

Relationships are already complicated enough and with third wave feminism , it makes it even harder. Women, are told things through images and media every single day. Women are told that its okay to be out there in the world, being sexual available to every man you date because of sexual freedom. Now yes there is a double standard when it comes to pre-martial sex between men and women but when has two wrongs ever made a right?  Sex is going to keep a relationship let alone a marriage together, if it did we wouldn’t have some many broken hearts in the world. Women are also told that men are suppose to okay with weight gain especially during marriage when babies enter your life. I’m sorry but their is difference between curves and obesity and the two should never been confused yet in our media, women are told its okay and if he doesn’t love your excessive fat then screw him and find someone else. If a man is married or in a relationship, that means he expects sex will be an occurring event but how do you expect his soldier to be at attention when you look like jabba the hut? I’m sorry but men are visual by nature, we know this, if we didn’t wouldn’t wear makeup or tight form fitting clothing that purposely shoves off our breasts, curves and booty.

 

Feminist are not entirely bad, if you look at some countries like areas in the middle eastern the women there need feminism. Man in his role is suppose to be a protector and provider, that is the role he was given, but man abuses his power and combine that with religion then you have a twisted view of how men and women are suppose to be. Those women are two very badly, where they have to worry about so many things from rape to being stone. No one especially a child should live in that kind of fear of a father, brother or husband will at any moment beat, rape,kill you or marry you off to someone who will.  Men especially in the red pill community must also taken some accountability in the creation of feminism, there is a cause and reaction to everything in life.  When you abuse the authority you were given, do you truly expect anyone to respect you or follow you in any shape or form? yes we as women have our faults but both sexes do and only by changing ourselves can we hope for a better relationship between us or we will continue to have more of the same thing.

50 Shades of Women

The  past few days I have been pondering why women are so intrigued by characters like Christian Grey or want relationship goals like The joker and  harley quinn. Both males are abusive to the women that they claim they love, in the Jokers’ case he actually messes with her brain making her crazy.  However the resson I brought up these character up is because modern day feminist love men like this and not just them but many fictional males characters that are for a lack of a better word, alpha.

Majority of third wave feminism hates the patriarchy and wants both sexes to be treated equally. When feminism start back in the late 60’s early 70’s it was a big deal for women; women no longer had to rely on men for basic living needs or they could now divorce their spouse, which was especially good for those trapped in abusive marriages because back then if a man beat you, you just got your ass beat. However as feminism grew the concept of being masculine and feminine began to change. Anything that was remotely masculine was quickly shut down and shamed while being feminine was something  seen as being trapped in the days before feminism the holy savior of womenkind and not encouraged.

Today we are seeing the effects of this, women are becoming more like men, men more like women and the relationship problems just seem to be increasing. We as a society have too many people making really bad choices in mates, we have people unhappy in their relationships and we have problems in marriage because they don’t FEEL happy or loved. Many women complain mostly about men in & how they basically should just  MAN UP  but if they do, then they are attacking their womanhood. I remember reading a post of my Facebook wall which was a tips for guys to attract or talk to females and many of the advice basically bordered on creepy stalker but one advice stuck out to me 

If a woman has headphones in, tap her or wave to get her attention

As you can guess, women in the comments were furious, like how dare a man who is interested in getting to know me disturb me while i have on headphones. Many comments revolved around not wanting to be bother but I wonder how is a man suppose to get your attention then? before Tinder, eHarmony and texting ,men and women actually talk to each other but now  even that form is starting to turn to dust.  Anything a man basically does to get attention becomes an attack against a woman or treating her unequally yet many complain that chivalry is dead or there are no good men out there. 

Many women actually do end up with nice guys however they are beta males her attraction to him wanes over time because he is just not masculine enough. He is essentially too nice and contrary to what women may say about wanting a nice guy want she really means is she wants Christian Grey, she wants Bruce Wayne, she wants Thor. She wants an alpha but due to feminism many men are discourage from being Captain America but  settle for being Steve Rogers and by settling men are losing out on their potential to be men amd wonder why their wives or girlfriends are refusing to have sex with them or dress in a lovely dress or even give you fellatio. 

Feminism has caused women to act more like men especially in the sexual arena. Is it a double standard that men can have sex with many women and not be called a “hoe, thot, slut etc – yes but there is reason for that. During intercourse a chemical is released from the brain thst encourages bonding and closeness which is why when a women sleeps with a man she gets easily attached however, though men and women both release this chemical a man, due to the way his brain functions can separate his feelings from just sex which is why many men can sleep with several women without being attached. 

Another reason why men prefer that his woman either be a virgin or have a low sex count is due to a biological function. Both male and female subconsciously give off reproductive cues so they can produce and pass off the best genes to their offspring. Why do you think women are attracted to men who show strength and want the man to have a job?  those factors tell her he is a protector and provider which is what she needs to make sure her offspring will be safe. For men its beauty and youth, there is a reason why there are all these beauty products geared toward women to stay young and why older men are attracted to twenty-somethings. Beauty and a womans’figure is the first thing men notice, it is what attracts him and youth tells him that  you can still bare children because a woman is born with the only eggs she’ll ever have while men are constantly producing sperm. Everything we do is because of a subconscious need to attract the opposite sex and we don’t even realize it despite the many ways we try to defy nature. 

I know I may get some serious flack for this but nature and sciene does not lie and we as homo sapiens need to stop playing GOD. 

Sugaring, the new prositution

I just left my facebook page after viewing a video my friend share from ‘Now This’ facebook page. The video talks about ‘sugaring’ where both young men and women – it’s mostly women, sell their youth and beauty to men both single and married from 139 countries in order to paid for college tuition.

Now, I understand that the tuition for most colleges is expensive and many can not afford a 4 year education. So many women sadly turn to other means to get paid. The website is called Seeking Arrangement and its where the magic happens. However this delusion that they are selling is just that, a delusion. There is no way that any man is going to spend money, take you out to fancy restaurants and trips across the world and does not want sex in return – I’m sorry.

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I have read plenty of blog posts by several men in the manosphere mostly by Deep Strength , Biblical Gender Roles  and What Women Never Hear even though I don’t always agree with some posts the ones concerning the nature of male and females , I do agree.  The men who sign up on this website are willing to pay whatever in order to get sex – that is the bottom line. There are a sheer number of reasons why a man would see sex. If he is a married man and is wife is refusing sex with her husband for reason that are well just not reasonable and it goes on for years, what happens is she is causing a rift in her marriage, allowing temptation to sneak in. So a man who has been denied constantly by his wife gets fed up eventually and makes one of two choices; either he continues in the sexless marriage and just accepts the no sex or he continues in his marriage while seeking sex from someone else- most tend to follow the latter.

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Now I have looked at several comments on the video of both men and women and it really shocks me even though it shouldn’t that so many women see no issue with this. The world seemed so much simply when I was a child, I didn’t have to worry about any of this but now that I’m a young woman, my hopes of finding a husband seems smaller by the day. What man is going to settle for marriage when he has a plethora of women out there that are willing to have sex with women without any strings attached or after one date? Majority of men in my age bracket are enjoying the buffet of women that colleges are offering and if you’re not one of those type of girls, you get look over or told ‘ you’re gonna make a good wife someday’. These type of men are still in the stages of boyhood and they don’t want to give up that all access pass to the toy store.

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This is truly a sad state of affairs. College should not be this hard but if it is that difficult then find some other means to obtain your degree than selling your body. I’m a nursing student but I do not attend a four year college. I attend a two year technical college and I am currently in my last year, I have no loans nor debt. I have a grant which pays for my tuition and all other fees. My only thing is I don’t have a car so I take a taxi or uber to get to my class and I work and I’m actually looking to work another part time job.  So there are ways  to pay your tuition without whoring yourself out to men especially married men. We as woman need to do better cause at this rate, we are gonna raise little girls to be the next Kim Kardashian.

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The Creator of the website with his wife

This is the video about the Sugar Babies

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1092996480790475&id=341163402640457

Temptation is a B*tch

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Temptation

Looking back at my teens, I never struggled with sexual temptation. I knew going into high school that boys would look at me in a sexual way and that they would try to spit game to get into my pants. However, I was prepared with quick look of ‘ don’t even try it’ or if they grabbed my rear or said something nasty, I usually  responded with something along the lines of their pillars and stones and a blender. It got them to pretty much back off, yet it resulted in me being either called a b*tch or prude because I made a promise not only to myself, but to my mother and the big GOD that I would wait to marriage and nothing was going to make me break my vow.

Now I’m 25 with one year left in my nursing program and I understanding what Peter meant in the bible when he said ‘burning with passion’; who knew that a virgin could be sexually frustrated. I want marriage, with a nice decent husband and four kids – two boys & two girls ( I already have my kids names picked out). My current problem is a majority of males in my age group are just not looking for wives because they are too busy getting laid. Now I’m all for feminism but this current 3rd wave feminism has put a dent into basically the whole courtship/marriage thing. Women now acting more and more like men who it comes to dating and sex and if men have to choose between milk that is freely given versus to pay for the cow and work for the milk – which one do you think they would  prefer? If women wanted to embrace their new found sexual freedom by all means go ahead but don’t act like men and women can change their biological  nature.

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Free Milk or Earned Milk

I have plenty of blogs by both men and women who have written about the current relationship dynamics and why so many people are not getting married. There are many factors that play apart and yes feminism  is one of them. Another is a lack of morals within our society, we are living in a world that is starting to resemble the Roman Empire. Granted the Roman Empire had its great moments but it also had some straight debauchery, its even in their mythology ( don’t get me started on the Greeks). At some point in America we have to look at ourselves and be like we need to change.

As for men, the dating pool in my current city is small and I do mean small. Now I don’t need my future husband to go to a four year college, a trade school is just fine as long as it is something in which he can be a provider for his family.  As his character would be important as well, after all who wants to follow and submit to a man who can not lead. A bonus would be if a found a guy who was into anime and video games like I am, because with me, there will be a lot of anime and things like Game of Thrones and cosplay going on.  Hopefully with me being in the nursing field it will expose me to a larger group of individuals  that I can meet and mingle and hopefully find a husband but until then I have to deal with temptation  and baby fever.

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Two Become One

Marriage, a Brief History

Ah marriage the union of two people coming together in love, combining families and to begin a new journey in their lives. Marriage is a very old and traditional aspect of our society its a ritual that tells the world “Hey, I’m in a commitment with this person”. However marriage like everything else has a history and marriage as it is seen to do wasn’t always about the love between bride and groom.

 

wedding rings

Marriage can traced to many ancients civilization like Mesopotamia. In this society marriages were arranged by the parents of both the bride and groom but mostly the father made the decision. A young female was considered fit for marriage as soon a she began her menstrual cycle; that is a bit young if you ask me.  The groom then paid  for the maiden’s hand and if the marriage did not produce children or if the wife died, the money had to be returned to the groom. The husband was allowed to keep a concubine, apart from the wife. But the position of a concubine was never equal to that of a wife. She always had an inferior status. So here in this archaic society we see that the institution of marriage is not about love and romance which won’t be introduce til the Middle Ages in Europe.

Now in biblical times marriage was also arranged as well, this is taken from Bible History

In the ancient Near East betrothal took place before the actual marriage and it was considered as binding as marriage. In ancient Israel a woman who was betrothed was considered the “wife” of the man she was betrothed to, and she was bound to be faithful. The betrothal (kiddushin) period lasted usually 6 months and sometimes 1 year, and it was a binding promise between the bridegroom and bride to marry. Deuteronomy 20:7 mentions the betrothal, stating that a man is exempt from military duty if he is betrothed. Once a woman was betrothed she was considered already married, and if she had sexual intercourse during this period she was considered an adulterer and was to be stoned to death. If she was not caught in the actual act and was found not to be a virgin, the husband could dissolve the marriage quietly and sign a bill of divorce. According to the civil law the virgin was purchased for a certain sum of money, this was paid to the bride’s father. Later in Israel’s history she was given a gold ring, or some other valuable thing, and the bridegroom would declare, “See by this ring (or token) thou art set apart unto me, according to the law of Moses and of Israel.” Many times the betrothed woman would not see her betrothed husband until the marriage ceremony began.

 

So here in the time of ancient Israel, the chosen people of God had laws of marriage. A woman nor her future husband had no clue to what their spouse even looked like. When is comes to premarital sex is was considered sinful and punishable by death especially if you were a woman. I noticed that in the Bible when it does speak of chastity there is a big focus on a woman’s sexuality like in the paragraph above.  In the Middle Ages is when the idea of chivalry starts to form. Chivalry is a code of conduct associated with the medieval institution of knighthood which developed between 1170 and 1220. When examining medieval literature, chivalry can be classified into three basic but overlapping area.

  • Duties to countrymen and fellow Christians: this contains virtues such as mercy, courage, valor, fairness, protection of the weak and the poor, and in the servant-hood of the knight to his lord. This also brings with it the idea of being willing to give one’s life for another; whether he would be giving his life for a poor man or his lord.
  • Duties to God: this would contain being faithful to God, protecting the innocent, being faithful to the church, being the champion of good against evil, being generous and obeying God above the feudal lord.
  • Duties to women: this is probably the most familiar aspect of chivalry. This would contain what is often called courtly love, the idea that the knight is to serve a lady, and after her all other ladies. Most especially in this category is a general gentleness and graciousness to all women

 

In other words, medieval literature was the romance novels of the time. Now as the ages roll on customs and traditions either change or stay the same. I brought this book from Walmart called The Element Encyclopedia of Secret Signs & Symbols  and I had found it very helpful when writing my blog post or poetry. So in part nine of the book title Rites and rituals, customs and observances there is a section on Marriage and goes on to briefly talk about marriage and weddings in ancient times verses today. It mentions that the word ‘harlot’  originally meant the same as ‘shrine prostitute’ which for the ancient cultures of Greek,India, Egypt and the Orient there were temples of sacred prostitution which was part of fertility ritual so in other word’s a harlot was a holy woman. Now the symbolism of the veil represents the removal of a woman’s virginity and her introduction to a new state of being. The cutting of the cake is a phallic symbol and the ring is a symbol of eternity. Now why is there in a wedding ceremony so many allusions to the groom taking a woman’s virginity? its practically screaming ” He got first taste of the cherry” . So much focus on a woman’s sexuality that it makes my head hurt.

 

Marriage today is more about romance and of course a woman making it her special day from the dress to the wedding reception – weddings can cost you a lot of money. Also in this modern day and age gays and lesbians are pushing for legalizing marriage which has cause much debate from ‘Gays are redefining the tradition of marriage’ to ‘Gay parenting’ .  Premarital sex & just sex in general is also a big deal along with the redefining of traditional roles of men and woman.  I would end this just by saying every culture and religion and civilization has gone through a major change that has either help them prosper or aided in their downfall and what effect does this debate on which form of marriage is right will have on the future of our society?

 

 

More on Marriage History, Traditions & Customs