Nothing Wrong With Being Feminine pt. I

First off let me state that I am grateful to the feminist movement in the progress that have made in terms of women’s rights. I do not have to marry a man for financial security, my voice as a woman can be heard and I am allowed to go to school and be more than just a housewife. However while I do love the achievements this movement has brought me, I am also saddened by the negative impact is has brought upon me as a female. Mankind since our creation has been under a patriarchy, a social system in which males hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property. In the domain of the family, fathers or father-figures hold authority over women and children. Some patriarchal societies are also patrilineal, meaning that property and title are inherited by the male lineage. Historically, patriarchy has manifested itself in the social, legal, political, religious and economic organization of a range of different cultures. We as human beings have done pretty okay under this particular social system but there were some that have and are currently fighting this system which has existed for ages now.

American wartime propaganda poster produced in 1943 for Westinghouse Electric as an inspirational image to boost worker morale.

Feminism can be found in history with French writer Christine de Pizan the author of ‘The Book of the City of Ladies’ is considered the first woman to denounce misogyny and the relation of the sexes. There also many other early feminist writers in the 16th and 17th century. During the 18th century or the Age of Enlightenment, many writers were defending the rights of women such as Jeremy Bentham and Mary Wollstonecraft. Bentham strongly condemned many countries practiced to deny women’s rights due to allegedly inferior minds and opposed the sexual moral standards between men and women. Now as we roll into the 19th century, the ‘feminine ideal’ also called ‘The Cult of Domesticity’ was part of the widespread acceptance of the Victorian image of the woman’s’ proper role and created these separate spheres for men and women, where men occupied the public sphere and women the private one. It was published into books such as Mrs. Beeton’s Book of Household Management and Sarah Stickney Ellis books. The interrelated barriers to education and employment formed the backbone of the 19th century feminist reform efforts. Campaigns also gave women opportunities to test their political skills, one of their many successes include the campaign for the Married Women’s Property Act which was passed in 1882 and the Contagious Diseases Act of 1864, 1866 and 1869.

1st wave feminism

 As we go from the 19th to 20th century we see that feminism can be divided into waves, the first wave was women’s suffrage, female education rights, better working conditions and the abolition of gender double standards. Second wave feminism brings us to the early 1960s through the late 1980’s. The second wave dealt with more cultural equality issues and discrimination. The Feminine Mystique which was published in 1963 become the voice of many women who felt that being discontent with being stuck into homemaking positions once they graduated from college. Susan Brownmiller 1975 Against Our Will introduced to the public an agenda against male violence especially concerning sexual male violence while Susan Griffin was the feminist to write on pornography ; these approaches has evolved to transform the research and perspective on rape into a social problem rather than just an individual one.

2nd wave feminism

This brings us to third wave feminism which began in the 1990’s, the decade I was born into. During this ear of feminism there is a focus more on rights for women of color which wasn’t acknowledge as much during the first two waves. Reproductive rights and global feminism were also big topics discussed during this era which then leads us to the fourth wave which began in 2008 to present day. Now within this wave social media plays a huge part and allows for topics such as reproductive justice, sex work acceptance, transgenderism, body shaming and much more. 

3rd wave feminism

4th wave feminism

Now if you have gotten this far, you are probably wondering where I am going with this. I was born in 1991 and the era of feminism that I grew up in has affected me in a way which is causing some slight problems in my social life. As an adult feminism seems to have strayed from its original purpose and is slowly evolving into a misandry movement. As a young I do want a husband and children which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but I feel as a female wanting those things is supposed to come second to other things like a career. Also there is nothing wrong with wanting a career but as female it is truly impossible for us to have it all.

What The Genders Want

I often find myself on social media reading post mostly by women that often complain about their relationships and why they can’t seem to find a man to settle down with. Majority of the time the female does not see anything she could have done wrong in the relationship and majority of the blame seems to be place on the male which is highly unfair. As women we need to realize that as much as feminism has helped us in many ways it has also created chaos in our relationships with the male gender. This post will continued in pt. II

Why I Don’t Consider Myself A Feminist

Lately I have be revaluating my life and my goals. I have only one year left of school which once finished I will be a nurse and from there I want become a midwife. However, as much as I want to be a midwife I would also like to meet someone and get married. Unlike most women who probably dreamed of marriage and kids as a child, marriage wasn’t on my mind till college. Growing up my main goal was to finished school and not end up like some of my peers and becoming a teenage mom. If you ever read any post in the manosphere or my red pillers, you would mostly likely come across posts that stated its better to marry young especially for women due to the whole the eggs we have is our only set and once menopause sets in, its game over man. Now while this is true, things must be taken into consideration such as women are encourage to have higher education so they can have a career. Now with a career comes financial security something that a woman especially in this day and age or any person really searches for.

 

If you were to marry a man and he has a decent job then there is no need to worry about money right?, well not really with the current state of relationships and the interactions between the male and female genders marriage is no longer death till you part anymore. In case of separation or worse divorce, both partners need something to fall back on.  Back in the day a woman’s sole purpose was to be married in order to have the financial security because only men held property and had money. So as woman, we don’t have to rely solely on men for income any longer. However, it is impossible to juggle a full time career and one’s marriage. We see it time and time again, having a full time job puts stress on a person and sometimes leave said person no enjoy to give to their spouses leaving them feeling rejected which thus slowly turns into more problems in the marriage especially if children are involved.

 

Now to the real reason I wrote this post, as the title says I no longer call myself a feminist due to severely things with the number one reason being that the feminism of today is not the same as when it first start. Feminism is suppose to be about equality between the sexes however, if one we to search anyway on the internet or just look at what is going on in the world around you, you will see the many of the feminist today seem to be angry and bitter. The big dislike and loathe of anything that represents masculinity is clearly evident and while many things that are considered feminine is seen as something of the past that women should no longer want nor crave. Feminist see some women who choose to be submissive in marriage to be equivalent  to being under a man as his servant, however that is not so. There is nothing shamefully or weak in being submissive to the leader/head of your household. I think its weak not to be submissive because you are not allowing yourself to be fully committed to the relationship.

 

Relationships are already complicated enough and with third wave feminism , it makes it even harder. Women, are told things through images and media every single day. Women are told that its okay to be out there in the world, being sexual available to every man you date because of sexual freedom. Now yes there is a double standard when it comes to pre-martial sex between men and women but when has two wrongs ever made a right?  Sex is going to keep a relationship let alone a marriage together, if it did we wouldn’t have some many broken hearts in the world. Women are also told that men are suppose to okay with weight gain especially during marriage when babies enter your life. I’m sorry but their is difference between curves and obesity and the two should never been confused yet in our media, women are told its okay and if he doesn’t love your excessive fat then screw him and find someone else. If a man is married or in a relationship, that means he expects sex will be an occurring event but how do you expect his soldier to be at attention when you look like jabba the hut? I’m sorry but men are visual by nature, we know this, if we didn’t wouldn’t wear makeup or tight form fitting clothing that purposely shoves off our breasts, curves and booty.

 

Feminist are not entirely bad, if you look at some countries like areas in the middle eastern the women there need feminism. Man in his role is suppose to be a protector and provider, that is the role he was given, but man abuses his power and combine that with religion then you have a twisted view of how men and women are suppose to be. Those women are two very badly, where they have to worry about so many things from rape to being stone. No one especially a child should live in that kind of fear of a father, brother or husband will at any moment beat, rape,kill you or marry you off to someone who will.  Men especially in the red pill community must also taken some accountability in the creation of feminism, there is a cause and reaction to everything in life.  When you abuse the authority you were given, do you truly expect anyone to respect you or follow you in any shape or form? yes we as women have our faults but both sexes do and only by changing ourselves can we hope for a better relationship between us or we will continue to have more of the same thing.

50 Shades of Women

The  past few days I have been pondering why women are so intrigued by characters like Christian Grey or want relationship goals like The joker and  harley quinn. Both males are abusive to the women that they claim they love, in the Jokers’ case he actually messes with her brain making her crazy.  However the resson I brought up these character up is because modern day feminist love men like this and not just them but many fictional males characters that are for a lack of a better word, alpha.

Majority of third wave feminism hates the patriarchy and wants both sexes to be treated equally. When feminism start back in the late 60’s early 70’s it was a big deal for women; women no longer had to rely on men for basic living needs or they could now divorce their spouse, which was especially good for those trapped in abusive marriages because back then if a man beat you, you just got your ass beat. However as feminism grew the concept of being masculine and feminine began to change. Anything that was remotely masculine was quickly shut down and shamed while being feminine was something  seen as being trapped in the days before feminism the holy savior of womenkind and not encouraged.

Today we are seeing the effects of this, women are becoming more like men, men more like women and the relationship problems just seem to be increasing. We as a society have too many people making really bad choices in mates, we have people unhappy in their relationships and we have problems in marriage because they don’t FEEL happy or loved. Many women complain mostly about men in & how they basically should just  MAN UP  but if they do, then they are attacking their womanhood. I remember reading a post of my Facebook wall which was a tips for guys to attract or talk to females and many of the advice basically bordered on creepy stalker but one advice stuck out to me 

If a woman has headphones in, tap her or wave to get her attention

As you can guess, women in the comments were furious, like how dare a man who is interested in getting to know me disturb me while i have on headphones. Many comments revolved around not wanting to be bother but I wonder how is a man suppose to get your attention then? before Tinder, eHarmony and texting ,men and women actually talk to each other but now  even that form is starting to turn to dust.  Anything a man basically does to get attention becomes an attack against a woman or treating her unequally yet many complain that chivalry is dead or there are no good men out there. 

Many women actually do end up with nice guys however they are beta males her attraction to him wanes over time because he is just not masculine enough. He is essentially too nice and contrary to what women may say about wanting a nice guy want she really means is she wants Christian Grey, she wants Bruce Wayne, she wants Thor. She wants an alpha but due to feminism many men are discourage from being Captain America but  settle for being Steve Rogers and by settling men are losing out on their potential to be men amd wonder why their wives or girlfriends are refusing to have sex with them or dress in a lovely dress or even give you fellatio. 

Feminism has caused women to act more like men especially in the sexual arena. Is it a double standard that men can have sex with many women and not be called a “hoe, thot, slut etc – yes but there is reason for that. During intercourse a chemical is released from the brain thst encourages bonding and closeness which is why when a women sleeps with a man she gets easily attached however, though men and women both release this chemical a man, due to the way his brain functions can separate his feelings from just sex which is why many men can sleep with several women without being attached. 

Another reason why men prefer that his woman either be a virgin or have a low sex count is due to a biological function. Both male and female subconsciously give off reproductive cues so they can produce and pass off the best genes to their offspring. Why do you think women are attracted to men who show strength and want the man to have a job?  those factors tell her he is a protector and provider which is what she needs to make sure her offspring will be safe. For men its beauty and youth, there is a reason why there are all these beauty products geared toward women to stay young and why older men are attracted to twenty-somethings. Beauty and a womans’figure is the first thing men notice, it is what attracts him and youth tells him that  you can still bare children because a woman is born with the only eggs she’ll ever have while men are constantly producing sperm. Everything we do is because of a subconscious need to attract the opposite sex and we don’t even realize it despite the many ways we try to defy nature. 

I know I may get some serious flack for this but nature and sciene does not lie and we as homo sapiens need to stop playing GOD. 

Some Marriages Can Not Be Saved

Let This story I just read really breaks my heart, I understand that marriage is suppose to be a life long commitment but if either spouse is in physical danger, don’t try to safe it – just leave. Most people don’t understand the need for feminism and eoth this 3rd wave feminism , it even has me no longer wanting to associate myself with those types of women but this story of a young woman in Africa is clear that the laws about marriage and women need to change immediately.

Here’s the full story:

A long scar on Jackline Mwende’s face travels from her temple, touches her left eyebrow, narrowly misses her eye and traverses her cheek to her lips. Its partner traces an even deeper arc in the center of her forehead. There are other scars in her scalp.

And then there are her arms. She has no hands left. Her wrists, swathed in thick bandages, end in stumps.

Mwende, of Machakos, 35 miles southeast of the capital, Nairobi, is the face of domestic violence in Kenya. Her husband has been charged in an alleged marital assault that shocked the nation. According to Mwende, her husband, Stephen Ngila, 35, attacked her with a machete, slashing her face and hacking off her hands, enraged because she hadn’t produced children in nearly five years of marriage.

“I saw him, and he told me: ‘Today is your last day,’” she says. “I never thought something like this would happen to me.”

Ngila is in police custody, awaiting trial over the attack. Members of his family told Kenyan media recently that Mwende was a woman of loose morals who may have been attacked by a business rival. They claim Ngila wasn’t at home when the attack happened.

Wearing a white hospital gown at Presbyterian Church of East Africa Kikuyu Hospital, Mwende, 27, weeps softly as she tells the story of how she fell in love with Ngila, married him in a white church wedding and watched as the relationship gradually went sour.

Occasionally, she winces in pain, but doesn’t complain.

“As a Christian, I can’t tell anyone to leave their marriage,” Mwende said. “But I’d like to talk about my personal story so other people, or other victims, may learn [from it] and speak up.”

In Kenya, activists say domestic violence is common. The country introduced legislation in 2015 that outlawed domestic violence and provided for restraining orders in the event of marital violence. But the lack of statistics on domestic killings and assaults of women by their partners suggests that the issue is considered a low priority.

According to the Gender Violence Recovery Center at Nairobi Women’s Hospital, 45% of Kenyan women between the ages 15 and 49 have experienced either physical or sexual violence, mostly at home. The center says only 6% of gender violence suffered by women in Kenya is perpetrated by strangers.

Family poverty and alcohol abuse play a role, according to activists, while in some traditional communities husbands are seen as having a right to discipline their wives, using physical punishment if necessary.

The fourth child of impoverished peasant farmers in a remote village near Machakos town, Mwende left school in the eighth grade because her parents, with six children to support, couldn’t afford to pay. She met Ngila seven years ago and the couple married two years later in a church.

“At that time, he was a good man. He was a church man. The first days of our marriage were happy days. We were living well together as a husband and wife.”

Ngila, a tailor in nearby Masii town, set Mwende up with a small business in 2014, where she sold items such as soap, sugar, tea and salt, to bring in extra money. They lived together in a three-room brick house on the top of a hill.

“None of my siblings is employed and my parents are poor. Whatever I was doing running the small shop was because I wanted to help my parents and my siblings,” she said.

But children didn’t come to the marriage.

Mwende says her husband blamed her for the problem. Neighbors told Kenyan media the sounds of domestic fights often drifted down from the house on the hill.

Women in many developing countries, including those in East Africa, face social stigma if they don’t produce at least one child, according to the World Health Organization. Although a husband’s infertility may be to blame, it is usually the woman who is stigmatized.

In 2014, Mwende and her husband sought medical advice at a Nairobi hospital on why they hadn’t had children, “and he found out that he had a problem,” she said. “So the doctor advised him to attend the clinic, but he never went. Every time I reminded him to attend the clinic, he would dismiss it. He would say, ‘I will see if I will get time to go,’ then he would never go.”

A sour seed had been planted in the marriage and it grew, Mwende said. “It reached a point that he suddenly changed. He started to get drunk.

“That man never used to bring anything home. He was very brutal. He used to beat me.” At times the couple would call their parents, who would come and try to bring peace to the marriage.

Her impoverished parents advised Mwende to leave Ngila, but she didn’t want to go back home to burden them. She sought advice from her pastor, who advised her to persist and to do her best to save the marriage.

“In most cases, every time there was a problem, I would run to our pastor,” she said. “The pastor would always tell me, ‘Jackie, please persevere. That man will come to change one day.’ The pastor and the church elders would just encourage us.

“I always wanted to protect my marriage so I decided to stay with him,” she said. “I always hoped he would change, but he seemed not to heed the advice from our church pastor.”

When the attack happened in late July, neighbors heard screaming and called the police. One neighbor told local media how she witnessed the rooms spattered in blood, with a severed hand on the floor. Mwende’s other hand was almost completely detached and couldn’t be saved.

Mwende’s case sparked national outrage. The local government authority promised a monthly stipend for a year and free transport to the hospital when she needs it for medical care. Several corporate sponsors pledged to help Mwende get access to prosthetic limbs to enable her to live and work independently.

Mwende, grateful for the help, is still recovering from the trauma of the attack.

“He thought he had killed me, but God is great,” she said.

The fact that this is all too common in other countries is very saddening. The thinking of the patriarchy in this countries need a 360 make-over. Women were not put on this Earth by God to be treated like the dirt beneath your shoes. Men and women were made to compliment each other and that is thrown out of balance, you have chaos. There is no reason for these women to be treated as such, every time I look up there are stories from India, Africa, the Middle East and sometimes even America of the mistreatment of woman and it needs to stop. Men wonder why women become so strongly about Women’s Rights and Feminisms, stop treating women as if her sole purpose in life is to get married, bare children then die. Women are capable of so much more and I am tired of the old saying ‘Let boys be boys” that saying has to many problems tied to it. Can we as women do things to ensure our well-being and safety- yes we can. There are many factors in our power that we can control like for example not getting so drunk that we wake up the next morning and have no clue what happened the night before. No one male of female should every allow themselves to be that vulnerable to an attacker.  Another is how we dress, I know as women we like to look cute and beautiful by the purpose of many of the clothing we wear is to flaunt and show off certain parts of our body- I mean many of our clothing is deigned to attract the male gaze for a reason and sadly those designs are in the clothing for our teens and little girls. There should be no reason for form fitting clothing on little girls; I’m sorry. For teen girls, there should no reason for shorts designed for them to be cut so that the pocket can be seen at the bottom- that is too damn short.

Our clothing as woman many come form fitted or tight in order to emphasis the booty and breast, showing more of our figure. Men are naturally attracted to women, especially those they find beautiful, clothing that shows more will cause men to look more because of the design of the clothing. Now men will look whether you have baggy clothes or not but if your ass cheeks is hanging out – hunny Jesus and Stan would be staring. So as women we must take some responsibility. Men too need to be responsibility because at the end of the day, you made a conscious decision to rape, rob, murder, mutilate etc . you chose to do that to another person. So like Harley Quinn said in Suicide Squad ‘Own that shit” stop placing the blame on everything else except yourself.

The ideas of what it means to be a man and to be a woman needs to change and it needs to change quickly cause right now people are dying from age old idea and traditions of what is means to be a woman and young girls and boys growing up in that environment will do nothing but repeat the cycle of domestic violence.

Link to original article:

Infertile Man Blames Wife For Not Having Children

Cosplay to Work

So just reading this interesting story about a young woman name June who is filing harassement against her boss.
Full Story Here

Basicalky June said the contract of her job states no dress code, just clean and pressed. With that information a person can basically wear whatever, so June wore this to work

 

its clear she is dressed in a business, and professional way. Howevet the boss had a issue with the attire and began implenting a dress code specifically targeting this woman. The scarf is a no, a ponytail is a no. When has a ponytail even been seen as unprofessional?  i work at Starbucks and I have to wear those hats and so i have to brush my hair down and make to have some gel on my edges cause I don’t relax my hair, its in his natural state and getting it into a ponytail is very hardwork. So the women responds to the all of a sudden new dress code  with flair

The thing I noticed when african-americans are in work places such as these, our hair especially in its natural kinky state is automatically seen as wild and unprofesdional. I’m so if we dont show up to work looming like Stacy Dash or Beky with the good hair. If our hair is neat,clean and brush then thats all that should matter. I should have to sumbit to a European standard of hair to be able to work in a business setting but sadly when even applying for jobs the first thing I notice is when people especially white I ask about job openings do is look at my hair and automatically make a judgment based off that; it gets annoying at time and so basically I do even get called for an interviewer mean while a black female can walking in with weave fulling down her back that she got from somewhere in Asia or Brazil is seen as professional. It is dicrimination plain and simple. Sadly from the comments many see June as rebellious and just doesn’t want to apply to the dress code when in the story it specifically states ‘there was no dress code’ and even provides a picture what she always wore to work but still June is seen as the troublemaker for basically not conforming or better yet assimilating to their European ideals; the comments are usually always made by Caucasians which sadly is not suprising. 

 So I wish the best to June and hopes her boss learns a lesson in discrimination.

Seriously Though???

There are two videos that had me thinking “wtf!?”. One video is basically a man-child while the other is blame teachers for the parents job.
Video #1 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10153731517870959&id=687830958
Number one is a young man whose fiance broke off there 2 years engagment because he spent $32,000 on their bedroom to fulfill his lifelong dream of having a game room. Now as one who loves video games I have no problem if my husband wants to having his mancave be a game room but spending that much money and not considering the fact that the bedroom is something that both he and I share and just changes that room shows that he is being selfish. Now if it was a spare room, basement, attic etc it would be an issue, but not the bedroom. I see the bedroom as a place for only two things: sleep & sex. If not one of those two things is happening then why even have a bedroom, last time I checked vampires don’t exist.

Video #2

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10206543964909538&id=1583371732

Video number two is another one that made me roll my eyes. It basically states that our school system has failed to teach our children basic life skills. I laughed because I remembered when my mommcame home from work one day and told me someone from her job, a young woman asked her to open a can of tuna because she had no clue how too. Now I don’t blame teachers because that’s not a teachers job. A teacher is suppose to teach math, history, sciene and all that good stuff but a parent is supposw to teach you life skills so you can manage yourself in this world. If you want to get biblical or as many would say stereotypical, a female child is suppose to be taught by her mother on what is means to be a lady from domestics to how to be a woman in a relationship, mother and well rounded person overall. Same for young boys they are suppose to be taught by father to be men, from knowing how to fix things around house, to finding a decent wife and being a husband. Now I see nothing wrong with both sex learning to cook,clean and things like managing bills and learning to fix things around the house. Afterall before one gets married, you have to know how to care of yourself and it shows the person that you can and that if anything where to happen you will be alright. 

These two videos just shows how crappy American society is truly getting. There is nothing wrong with a passion or hobby, I love anime and plan on cosplaying in the near future but if it gets to the point where it ruins your relationship or you become antisocial then get some help. Also it not the teachers jobs to raise your children, stop trying to be your kids friend and be their damn parent and if you cant handle children- then ladies keep your legs close and dudes keep the pecker in your pants. 

Sugaring, the new prositution

I just left my facebook page after viewing a video my friend share from ‘Now This’ facebook page. The video talks about ‘sugaring’ where both young men and women – it’s mostly women, sell their youth and beauty to men both single and married from 139 countries in order to paid for college tuition.

Now, I understand that the tuition for most colleges is expensive and many can not afford a 4 year education. So many women sadly turn to other means to get paid. The website is called Seeking Arrangement and its where the magic happens. However this delusion that they are selling is just that, a delusion. There is no way that any man is going to spend money, take you out to fancy restaurants and trips across the world and does not want sex in return – I’m sorry.

image

I have read plenty of blog posts by several men in the manosphere mostly by Deep Strength , Biblical Gender Roles  and What Women Never Hear even though I don’t always agree with some posts the ones concerning the nature of male and females , I do agree.  The men who sign up on this website are willing to pay whatever in order to get sex – that is the bottom line. There are a sheer number of reasons why a man would see sex. If he is a married man and is wife is refusing sex with her husband for reason that are well just not reasonable and it goes on for years, what happens is she is causing a rift in her marriage, allowing temptation to sneak in. So a man who has been denied constantly by his wife gets fed up eventually and makes one of two choices; either he continues in the sexless marriage and just accepts the no sex or he continues in his marriage while seeking sex from someone else- most tend to follow the latter.

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Now I have looked at several comments on the video of both men and women and it really shocks me even though it shouldn’t that so many women see no issue with this. The world seemed so much simply when I was a child, I didn’t have to worry about any of this but now that I’m a young woman, my hopes of finding a husband seems smaller by the day. What man is going to settle for marriage when he has a plethora of women out there that are willing to have sex with women without any strings attached or after one date? Majority of men in my age bracket are enjoying the buffet of women that colleges are offering and if you’re not one of those type of girls, you get look over or told ‘ you’re gonna make a good wife someday’. These type of men are still in the stages of boyhood and they don’t want to give up that all access pass to the toy store.

image

This is truly a sad state of affairs. College should not be this hard but if it is that difficult then find some other means to obtain your degree than selling your body. I’m a nursing student but I do not attend a four year college. I attend a two year technical college and I am currently in my last year, I have no loans nor debt. I have a grant which pays for my tuition and all other fees. My only thing is I don’t have a car so I take a taxi or uber to get to my class and I work and I’m actually looking to work another part time job.  So there are ways  to pay your tuition without whoring yourself out to men especially married men. We as woman need to do better cause at this rate, we are gonna raise little girls to be the next Kim Kardashian.

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The Creator of the website with his wife

This is the video about the Sugar Babies

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1092996480790475&id=341163402640457