Why I Don’t Consider Myself A Feminist

Lately I have be revaluating my life and my goals. I have only one year left of school which once finished I will be a nurse and from there I want become a midwife. However, as much as I want to be a midwife I would also like to meet someone and get married. Unlike most women who probably dreamed of marriage and kids as a child, marriage wasn’t on my mind till college. Growing up my main goal was to finished school and not end up like some of my peers and becoming a teenage mom. If you ever read any post in the manosphere or my red pillers, you would mostly likely come across posts that stated its better to marry young especially for women due to the whole the eggs we have is our only set and once menopause sets in, its game over man. Now while this is true, things must be taken into consideration such as women are encourage to have higher education so they can have a career. Now with a career comes financial security something that a woman especially in this day and age or any person really searches for.

 

If you were to marry a man and he has a decent job then there is no need to worry about money right?, well not really with the current state of relationships and the interactions between the male and female genders marriage is no longer death till you part anymore. In case of separation or worse divorce, both partners need something to fall back on.  Back in the day a woman’s sole purpose was to be married in order to have the financial security because only men held property and had money. So as woman, we don’t have to rely solely on men for income any longer. However, it is impossible to juggle a full time career and one’s marriage. We see it time and time again, having a full time job puts stress on a person and sometimes leave said person no enjoy to give to their spouses leaving them feeling rejected which thus slowly turns into more problems in the marriage especially if children are involved.

 

Now to the real reason I wrote this post, as the title says I no longer call myself a feminist due to severely things with the number one reason being that the feminism of today is not the same as when it first start. Feminism is suppose to be about equality between the sexes however, if one we to search anyway on the internet or just look at what is going on in the world around you, you will see the many of the feminist today seem to be angry and bitter. The big dislike and loathe of anything that represents masculinity is clearly evident and while many things that are considered feminine is seen as something of the past that women should no longer want nor crave. Feminist see some women who choose to be submissive in marriage to be equivalent  to being under a man as his servant, however that is not so. There is nothing shamefully or weak in being submissive to the leader/head of your household. I think its weak not to be submissive because you are not allowing yourself to be fully committed to the relationship.

 

Relationships are already complicated enough and with third wave feminism , it makes it even harder. Women, are told things through images and media every single day. Women are told that its okay to be out there in the world, being sexual available to every man you date because of sexual freedom. Now yes there is a double standard when it comes to pre-martial sex between men and women but when has two wrongs ever made a right?  Sex is going to keep a relationship let alone a marriage together, if it did we wouldn’t have some many broken hearts in the world. Women are also told that men are suppose to okay with weight gain especially during marriage when babies enter your life. I’m sorry but their is difference between curves and obesity and the two should never been confused yet in our media, women are told its okay and if he doesn’t love your excessive fat then screw him and find someone else. If a man is married or in a relationship, that means he expects sex will be an occurring event but how do you expect his soldier to be at attention when you look like jabba the hut? I’m sorry but men are visual by nature, we know this, if we didn’t wouldn’t wear makeup or tight form fitting clothing that purposely shoves off our breasts, curves and booty.

 

Feminist are not entirely bad, if you look at some countries like areas in the middle eastern the women there need feminism. Man in his role is suppose to be a protector and provider, that is the role he was given, but man abuses his power and combine that with religion then you have a twisted view of how men and women are suppose to be. Those women are two very badly, where they have to worry about so many things from rape to being stone. No one especially a child should live in that kind of fear of a father, brother or husband will at any moment beat, rape,kill you or marry you off to someone who will.  Men especially in the red pill community must also taken some accountability in the creation of feminism, there is a cause and reaction to everything in life.  When you abuse the authority you were given, do you truly expect anyone to respect you or follow you in any shape or form? yes we as women have our faults but both sexes do and only by changing ourselves can we hope for a better relationship between us or we will continue to have more of the same thing.

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Marriage, a Brief History

Ah marriage the union of two people coming together in love, combining families and to begin a new journey in their lives. Marriage is a very old and traditional aspect of our society its a ritual that tells the world “Hey, I’m in a commitment with this person”. However marriage like everything else has a history and marriage as it is seen to do wasn’t always about the love between bride and groom.

 

wedding rings

Marriage can traced to many ancients civilization like Mesopotamia. In this society marriages were arranged by the parents of both the bride and groom but mostly the father made the decision. A young female was considered fit for marriage as soon a she began her menstrual cycle; that is a bit young if you ask me.  The groom then paid  for the maiden’s hand and if the marriage did not produce children or if the wife died, the money had to be returned to the groom. The husband was allowed to keep a concubine, apart from the wife. But the position of a concubine was never equal to that of a wife. She always had an inferior status. So here in this archaic society we see that the institution of marriage is not about love and romance which won’t be introduce til the Middle Ages in Europe.

Now in biblical times marriage was also arranged as well, this is taken from Bible History

In the ancient Near East betrothal took place before the actual marriage and it was considered as binding as marriage. In ancient Israel a woman who was betrothed was considered the “wife” of the man she was betrothed to, and she was bound to be faithful. The betrothal (kiddushin) period lasted usually 6 months and sometimes 1 year, and it was a binding promise between the bridegroom and bride to marry. Deuteronomy 20:7 mentions the betrothal, stating that a man is exempt from military duty if he is betrothed. Once a woman was betrothed she was considered already married, and if she had sexual intercourse during this period she was considered an adulterer and was to be stoned to death. If she was not caught in the actual act and was found not to be a virgin, the husband could dissolve the marriage quietly and sign a bill of divorce. According to the civil law the virgin was purchased for a certain sum of money, this was paid to the bride’s father. Later in Israel’s history she was given a gold ring, or some other valuable thing, and the bridegroom would declare, “See by this ring (or token) thou art set apart unto me, according to the law of Moses and of Israel.” Many times the betrothed woman would not see her betrothed husband until the marriage ceremony began.

 

So here in the time of ancient Israel, the chosen people of God had laws of marriage. A woman nor her future husband had no clue to what their spouse even looked like. When is comes to premarital sex is was considered sinful and punishable by death especially if you were a woman. I noticed that in the Bible when it does speak of chastity there is a big focus on a woman’s sexuality like in the paragraph above.  In the Middle Ages is when the idea of chivalry starts to form. Chivalry is a code of conduct associated with the medieval institution of knighthood which developed between 1170 and 1220. When examining medieval literature, chivalry can be classified into three basic but overlapping area.

  • Duties to countrymen and fellow Christians: this contains virtues such as mercy, courage, valor, fairness, protection of the weak and the poor, and in the servant-hood of the knight to his lord. This also brings with it the idea of being willing to give one’s life for another; whether he would be giving his life for a poor man or his lord.
  • Duties to God: this would contain being faithful to God, protecting the innocent, being faithful to the church, being the champion of good against evil, being generous and obeying God above the feudal lord.
  • Duties to women: this is probably the most familiar aspect of chivalry. This would contain what is often called courtly love, the idea that the knight is to serve a lady, and after her all other ladies. Most especially in this category is a general gentleness and graciousness to all women

 

In other words, medieval literature was the romance novels of the time. Now as the ages roll on customs and traditions either change or stay the same. I brought this book from Walmart called The Element Encyclopedia of Secret Signs & Symbols  and I had found it very helpful when writing my blog post or poetry. So in part nine of the book title Rites and rituals, customs and observances there is a section on Marriage and goes on to briefly talk about marriage and weddings in ancient times verses today. It mentions that the word ‘harlot’  originally meant the same as ‘shrine prostitute’ which for the ancient cultures of Greek,India, Egypt and the Orient there were temples of sacred prostitution which was part of fertility ritual so in other word’s a harlot was a holy woman. Now the symbolism of the veil represents the removal of a woman’s virginity and her introduction to a new state of being. The cutting of the cake is a phallic symbol and the ring is a symbol of eternity. Now why is there in a wedding ceremony so many allusions to the groom taking a woman’s virginity? its practically screaming ” He got first taste of the cherry” . So much focus on a woman’s sexuality that it makes my head hurt.

 

Marriage today is more about romance and of course a woman making it her special day from the dress to the wedding reception – weddings can cost you a lot of money. Also in this modern day and age gays and lesbians are pushing for legalizing marriage which has cause much debate from ‘Gays are redefining the tradition of marriage’ to ‘Gay parenting’ .  Premarital sex & just sex in general is also a big deal along with the redefining of traditional roles of men and woman.  I would end this just by saying every culture and religion and civilization has gone through a major change that has either help them prosper or aided in their downfall and what effect does this debate on which form of marriage is right will have on the future of our society?

 

 

More on Marriage History, Traditions & Customs