Nothing Wrong With Being Feminine pt. I

First off let me state that I am grateful to the feminist movement in the progress that they  have made in terms of women’s rights. I do not have to marry a man for financial security, my voice as a woman can be heard and I am allowed to go to school and be more than just a housewife. However, while I do love the achievements this movement has brought me, I am also saddened by the negative impact is has brought upon me as a female. Mankind since our creation has been under a patriarchy, a social system in which males hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property. In the domain of the family, fathers or father-figures hold authority over women and children. Some patriarchal societies are also patrilineal, meaning that property and title are inherited by the male lineage. Historically, patriarchy has manifested itself in the social, legal, political, religious and economic organization of a range of different cultures. We as human beings have done pretty okay under this particular social system but there were some that have and are currently fighting this system which has existed for ages now.

American wartime propaganda poster produced in 1943 for Westinghouse Electric as an inspirational image to boost worker morale.

Feminism can be found in history with French writer Christine de Pizan the author of ‘The Book of the City of Ladies’ is considered the first woman to denounce misogyny and the relation of the sexes. There also many other early feminist writers in the 16th and 17th century. During the 18th century or the Age of Enlightenment, many writers were defending the rights of women such as Jeremy Bentham and Mary Wollstonecraft. Bentham strongly condemned many countries practiced to deny women’s rights due to allegedly inferior minds and opposed the sexual moral standards between men and women. Now as we roll into the 19th century, the ‘feminine ideal’ also called ‘The Cult of Domesticity’ was part of the widespread acceptance of the Victorian image of the woman’s’ proper role and created these separate spheres for men and women, where men occupied the public sphere and women the private one. It was published into books such as Mrs. Beeton’s Book of Household Management and Sarah Stickney Ellis books. The interrelated barriers to education and employment formed the backbone of the 19th century feminist reform efforts. Campaigns also gave women opportunities to test their political skills, one of their many successes include the campaign for the Married Women’s Property Act which was passed in 1882 and the Contagious Diseases Act of 1864, 1866 and 1869.

1st wave feminism

 As we go from the 19th to 20th century we see that feminism can be divided into waves, the first wave was women’s suffrage, female education rights, better working conditions and the abolition of gender double standards. Second wave feminism brings us to the early 1960s through the late 1980’s. The second wave dealt with more cultural equality issues and discrimination. The Feminine Mystique which was published in 1963 become the voice of many women who felt that being discontent with being stuck into homemaking positions once they graduated from college. Susan Brownmiller 1975 Against Our Will introduced to the public an agenda against male violence especially concerning sexual male violence while Susan Griffin was the feminist to write on pornography ; these approaches has evolved to transform the research and perspective on rape into a social problem rather than just an individual one.

2nd wave feminism

This brings us to third wave feminism which began in the 1990’s, the decade I was born into. During this ear of feminism there is a focus more on rights for women of color which wasn’t acknowledge as much during the first two waves. Reproductive rights and global feminism were also big topics discussed during this era which then leads us to the fourth wave which began in 2008 to present day. Now within this wave social media plays a huge part and allows for topics such as reproductive justice, sex work acceptance, transgenderism, body shaming and much more. 

3rd wave feminism

4th wave feminism

Now if you have gotten this far, you are probably wondering where I am going with this. I was born in 1991 and the era of feminism that I grew up in has affected me in a way which is causing some slight problems in my social life. As an adult feminism seems to have strayed from its original purpose and is slowly evolving into a misandry movement. As a young I do want a husband and children which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but I feel as a female wanting those things is supposed to come second to other things like a career. Also there is nothing wrong with wanting a career but as female it is truly impossible for us to have it all.

What The Genders Want

I often find myself on social media reading post mostly by women that often complain about their relationships and why they can’t seem to find a man to settle down with. Majority of the time the female does not see anything she could have done wrong in the relationship and majority of the blame seems to be place on the male which is highly unfair. As women we need to realize that as much as feminism has helped us in many ways it has also created chaos in our relationships with the male gender. This post will continued in pt. II
Bibliography:
“Feminist Movement.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 28 Aug. 2017, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminist_movement.

“The 1960s-70s American Feminist Movement: Breaking Down Barriers for Women.” Tavaana, tavaana.org/en/content/1960s-70s-american-feminist-movement-breaking-down-barriers-women


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Why I Don’t Consider Myself A Feminist

Lately I have be revaluating my life and my goals. I have only one year left of school which once finished I will be a nurse and from there I want become a midwife. However, as much as I want to be a midwife I would also like to meet someone and get married. Unlike most women who probably dreamed of marriage and kids as a child, marriage wasn’t on my mind till college. Growing up my main goal was to finished school and not end up like some of my peers and becoming a teenage mom. If you ever read any post in the manosphere or my red pillers, you would mostly likely come across posts that stated its better to marry young especially for women due to the whole the eggs we have is our only set and once menopause sets in, its game over man. Now while this is true, things must be taken into consideration such as women are encourage to have higher education so they can have a career. Now with a career comes financial security something that a woman especially in this day and age or any person really searches for.

 

If you were to marry a man and he has a decent job then there is no need to worry about money right?, well not really with the current state of relationships and the interactions between the male and female genders marriage is no longer death till you part anymore. In case of separation or worse divorce, both partners need something to fall back on.  Back in the day a woman’s sole purpose was to be married in order to have the financial security because only men held property and had money. So as woman, we don’t have to rely solely on men for income any longer. However, it is impossible to juggle a full time career and one’s marriage. We see it time and time again, having a full time job puts stress on a person and sometimes leave said person no enjoy to give to their spouses leaving them feeling rejected which thus slowly turns into more problems in the marriage especially if children are involved.

 

Now to the real reason I wrote this post, as the title says I no longer call myself a feminist due to severely things with the number one reason being that the feminism of today is not the same as when it first start. Feminism is suppose to be about equality between the sexes however, if one we to search anyway on the internet or just look at what is going on in the world around you, you will see the many of the feminist today seem to be angry and bitter. The big dislike and loathe of anything that represents masculinity is clearly evident and while many things that are considered feminine is seen as something of the past that women should no longer want nor crave. Feminist see some women who choose to be submissive in marriage to be equivalent  to being under a man as his servant, however that is not so. There is nothing shamefully or weak in being submissive to the leader/head of your household. I think its weak not to be submissive because you are not allowing yourself to be fully committed to the relationship.

 

Relationships are already complicated enough and with third wave feminism , it makes it even harder. Women, are told things through images and media every single day. Women are told that its okay to be out there in the world, being sexual available to every man you date because of sexual freedom. Now yes there is a double standard when it comes to pre-martial sex between men and women but when has two wrongs ever made a right?  Sex is going to keep a relationship let alone a marriage together, if it did we wouldn’t have some many broken hearts in the world. Women are also told that men are suppose to okay with weight gain especially during marriage when babies enter your life. I’m sorry but their is difference between curves and obesity and the two should never been confused yet in our media, women are told its okay and if he doesn’t love your excessive fat then screw him and find someone else. If a man is married or in a relationship, that means he expects sex will be an occurring event but how do you expect his soldier to be at attention when you look like jabba the hut? I’m sorry but men are visual by nature, we know this, if we didn’t wouldn’t wear makeup or tight form fitting clothing that purposely shoves off our breasts, curves and booty.

 

Feminist are not entirely bad, if you look at some countries like areas in the middle eastern the women there need feminism. Man in his role is suppose to be a protector and provider, that is the role he was given, but man abuses his power and combine that with religion then you have a twisted view of how men and women are suppose to be. Those women are two very badly, where they have to worry about so many things from rape to being stone. No one especially a child should live in that kind of fear of a father, brother or husband will at any moment beat, rape,kill you or marry you off to someone who will.  Men especially in the red pill community must also taken some accountability in the creation of feminism, there is a cause and reaction to everything in life.  When you abuse the authority you were given, do you truly expect anyone to respect you or follow you in any shape or form? yes we as women have our faults but both sexes do and only by changing ourselves can we hope for a better relationship between us or we will continue to have more of the same thing.