Sugaring, the new prositution

I just left my facebook page after viewing a video my friend share from ‘Now This’ facebook page. The video talks about ‘sugaring’ where both young men and women – it’s mostly women, sell their youth and beauty to men both single and married from 139 countries in order to paid for college tuition.

Now, I understand that the tuition for most colleges is expensive and many can not afford a 4 year education. So many women sadly turn to other means to get paid. The website is called Seeking Arrangement and its where the magic happens. However this delusion that they are selling is just that, a delusion. There is no way that any man is going to spend money, take you out to fancy restaurants and trips across the world and does not want sex in return – I’m sorry.

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I have read plenty of blog posts by several men in the manosphere mostly by Deep Strength , Biblical Gender Roles  and What Women Never Hear even though I don’t always agree with some posts the ones concerning the nature of male and females , I do agree.  The men who sign up on this website are willing to pay whatever in order to get sex – that is the bottom line. There are a sheer number of reasons why a man would see sex. If he is a married man and is wife is refusing sex with her husband for reason that are well just not reasonable and it goes on for years, what happens is she is causing a rift in her marriage, allowing temptation to sneak in. So a man who has been denied constantly by his wife gets fed up eventually and makes one of two choices; either he continues in the sexless marriage and just accepts the no sex or he continues in his marriage while seeking sex from someone else- most tend to follow the latter.

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Now I have looked at several comments on the video of both men and women and it really shocks me even though it shouldn’t that so many women see no issue with this. The world seemed so much simply when I was a child, I didn’t have to worry about any of this but now that I’m a young woman, my hopes of finding a husband seems smaller by the day. What man is going to settle for marriage when he has a plethora of women out there that are willing to have sex with women without any strings attached or after one date? Majority of men in my age bracket are enjoying the buffet of women that colleges are offering and if you’re not one of those type of girls, you get look over or told ‘ you’re gonna make a good wife someday’. These type of men are still in the stages of boyhood and they don’t want to give up that all access pass to the toy store.

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This is truly a sad state of affairs. College should not be this hard but if it is that difficult then find some other means to obtain your degree than selling your body. I’m a nursing student but I do not attend a four year college. I attend a two year technical college and I am currently in my last year, I have no loans nor debt. I have a grant which pays for my tuition and all other fees. My only thing is I don’t have a car so I take a taxi or uber to get to my class and I work and I’m actually looking to work another part time job.  So there are ways  to pay your tuition without whoring yourself out to men especially married men. We as woman need to do better cause at this rate, we are gonna raise little girls to be the next Kim Kardashian.

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The Creator of the website with his wife

This is the video about the Sugar Babies

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1092996480790475&id=341163402640457

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Choose A Side

When it comes to sex, Christians are the first speak up especially when it comes to sexual immorality but I always wondered why do they care so much? I just don’t understand, why is another person’s sex life any of their business.

 

I have seen so many blogs written by Christians on sex whether its about sex in marriage, pre-martial sex, homosexual sex, or virginity, these god-fearing people have a lot to say. However I can only speak from my own experience which I actually lack but it does bother me as a female that if I’m not considered ‘pure’ that I should somehow feel ashamed or unworthy of a good husband. There is a lot of blogs for women and young girls to keep their virginity for their marriage and it’s always told to them that is a special gift. Now this sounds nice but do Christians truly understand what this might sound like to a young girl or young woman- I doubt they do. Telling young women that the piece of flesh that is in between their legs is a gift makes it sound as if they are some prize to be won and shown off. In my previous post ‘Marriage, A Brief History’ I pointed out that a couple of symbolism that is in a wedding, the veil is a symbolism of a man taking a women’s virginity. Why so much emphasis on a women keeping her hymen intact, but not so much on males?

 

Purity Balls are quite common, having young girls pledge their sexuality to their fathers then once married to their husbands. When does the woman control her own sexuality? I have no issue with a man and woman coming together as the bible says ‘ become one flesh” but it seems that certain aspects are just controlling. Since the women’s suffrage, their has been a change in the dynamics of how women view themselves and their behavior in society. Woman are more independent, more sexual activity and more opinionated letting their voices be heard. Now as much as I love feminism and what it stands for it has become tainted and skewed from its original purpose and developed like a cancer having a  negative effect on women.

 

The Bible and Feminism are two very strong opposing opposites. On one side the bible holds a traditional,biblical view of womanhood. Submissive, modesty,pure, motherly while feminism holds women as independent,vixens, outspoken; both are two extremes in which a woman must choose a side. There is nothing wrong with being modest or submissive or pure and motherly but that is only one side of a woman and for the negative aspect is seen as being prude or unattractive. As for being independent and outspoken, again there is nothing wrong with that but with sexual liberation comes a huge responsibility. There is a difference between being a lady and a whore and in this day and age that line has become blurred. In every generation there are a set of rules on how a young woman acts versus how a harlot behaves. Clothing to mannerism, behaving like a harlot  has become the normal for most women in this Western society and we need to fix it; slut-shaming is also a problem in our society that needs to be fixed.

 

I think both feminism and biblical womanhood need some areas that truly need to be fixed. There are two sides of one coin that have both positive and negative traits.  I believe woman need both because they both have something to give to woman so she can be a whole person and not just half a glass.

 

Choose A Side:

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What’s the Problem?

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Now this morning I started reading this post on Peaceful Wife’s blog. It was given some relationship tips but these two are the ones that really stood out to me and I will explain why.

•If you want intimacy MORE than your husband, be willing to back off and wait for him to pursue you more and look to God to meet your spiritual and emotional needs.

•If you want intimacy LESS than your husband, try to think of it more as – you are ministering to him sexually and that actually also strengthens your emotional and spiritual bond with him! Develop a willing spirit that wants to say “yes!” to your man!

Now these two points of advice are relating to sex between a husband and wife. Now it says if a woman was more intimacy than her husband, that she needs to pretty much back off and look to God for her spiritual and emotional needs while you wait for your husband to catch a clue. However the second bullet states that if a woman wants less intimacy pretty much don’t deny him sex because it helps strengthen the bond between you both emotionally and spiritually. Now do you see the problem?

Now I’m not a married woman but this advice whether being given to a married or single woman is a no. Women are sexual beings just like men , now if a wife is craving more intimacy from her husband the advice shouldn’t be to go and freaking pray. Sex when it comes to the christian prospective is only good within a marriage so why this discouragement? Why is it if a women has less desire for sex than her husband she must obliged to his advances but not vice versa? Doesn’t the bible say ” do not deny your spouse sex?; by giving couples this kinda of advice its saying to woman that your sexual intimacy is not important as a mans. If a wife is feeling not in the mood but she must do it to strengthen the bond between her and the man she made a commitment with – the act of sex becomes a chore and she will eventually come to dislike sex because it just become another item on a long to-do list a woman must complete to be seen as a faithful and godly wife.

 

This is except from Peaceful Wife’s Blog titled ‘Keeping the Marriage Bed Pure’

Since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.  The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  I Corinthians 7:2-5

  • We must reserve ALL of our sexual energy for our own husbands alone.  We cannot use our imaginations to picture being with someone else (not even a fictional man in a book or movie) – that is lust and it is sin.  We must take every thought captive to Christ by the power of His Spirit living in us.  If we catch ourselves feeling tempted about something, ideally we could tell our husbands about it (once we are married) and/or a female godly mentor or friend.  I always tell my husband if I begin to feel any temptation and ask him to keep me accountable, as well as my sister and a dear friend.  Keeping secrets about this stuff makes it so much more dangerous!
  • We must build hedges around our marriage to keep it safe and protect our hearts.  I believe that means no private discussions with someone of the opposite sex, no private emails/texts/FB chats/meetings whenever possible – and if it is unavoidable, I keep the conversation as BRIEF as possible.  If I need to email a man, I copy my husband on it unless it is just a sentence or two about business things.  These are probably wise ideas for single women, too!
  • We must flee from opportunities that would be potentially tempting (time alone with someone, riding alone in a car with a man, discussing marriage struggles with a male coworker or friend).  This includes people that may not seem that likely – like our teenage sons’ friends, our pastor, our Sunday School teacher, our male boss, ANY GUY.  Hopefully the exceptions would be your dad or brother – but there are some cases where even those relationships are not “safe” sadly.
  • Some women are facing temptations of being attracted to women, also – then you will need to build hedges to protect yourself from temptation in that area, too!
  • Use your imagination to feed your desire for your husband when you are married.  And if he wants LESS intimacy, then stop fueling your imagination so much with sexual thoughts of him so that you can back off to a level he is more comfortable with.
  • If you want intimacy MORE than your husband, be willing to back off and wait for him to pursue you more and look to God to meet your spiritual and emotional needs.
  • If you want intimacy LESS than your husband, try to think of it more as – you are ministering to him sexually and that actually also strengthens your emotional and spiritual bond with him!  Develop a willing spirit that wants to say “yes!” to your man!
  • Make time for intimacy a HUGE priority in your marriage.
  • Drop unnecessary time wasters from your schedule so you have the time and energy to devote proper attention to your sexual intimacy with your husband.
  • Enjoy your husband’s touch, his body and your time together when you do get married.  Feel yourself relax and melt at his touch.  There are all kinds of physiological, emotional and spiritual benefits from physical intimacy for both husband and wife.  This is the “glue that holds your marriage together” as Gary Thomas puts it in “Sacred Influence.”  Sex is such an incredible wedding gift from God!

 

I do suggest going to the blog to read to get a clear understanding. Again this is just my opinion and for me though I have never been in a relationship some things I just don’t agree with it.

Fifty Shades of Enough

 

 

fifty shades coupleThis Saturday is  Valentine’s Day and many women 20 and up will be waiting in line with either their girlfriends or dragging their husbands or boyfriends or gay best friend to see Fifty Shades of Grey (which comes out on Friday).  This book has sparked a debated among Americans especially women about a taboo subject. Fifty Shades of Grey has become so popular that it has seriously gotten on my nerves. Ever since it hit the shelves everyone hasn’t stop talking about it (I don’t even know why I’m writing about it) and personally I don’t see it has a big of a deal but maybe because it’s because I have reached that point in my life yet where one experiences sexual intimacy.

Fifty Shades is at its core a fictional romance novel about a young woman name Anastasia and the guy who catches her eye Christian Grey, however the due to Mr. Grey’s singular taste has got women mostly moms yearning for something a bit more kinky in the bedroom. BDSM is very taboo in our society given it’s nature involving ropes,spanking and other things. B&D (bondage and discipline) with S&M (sadomasochism, or sadism and masochism) is seen to many as a very unhealthy sexual relationship and one can see why.  This form of sexual activity involves some serious trust between both partners

 

On a physical level, BDSM is commonly misconceived to be “all about pain”. Most often, though, BDSM practitioners are primarily concerned with power, humiliation, and pleasure.Of the three categories of BDSM, only sadomasochism specifically requires pain, but this is typically a vehicle for feelings of humiliation, dominance, etc. The aspects of D/s and B/D may not include physical suffering at all, but include the sensations inherited by different emotions of the mind. Dominance & submission of power is an entirely different experience, and is not always psychologically associated with physical pain. Many BDSM activities might not involve any kind of pain or humiliation, but just the exchange of Powers (Power Exchange). During the activities, the practitioners may feel endorphins comparable to the so-called “runner’s high” or to the afterglow of orgasm.[26] The correspondingtrance-like mental state is also known as “subspace” for the submissive, or “topspace” for the dominant. Some use the term “body stress” to describe this physiological sensation.[27] This experience of algolagnia is important, but is not the only motivation for many BDSM practitioners. The philosopher Edmund Burke defines this sensation of pleasure derived from pain by the word sublime. There is a wide array of BDSM practitioners who take part in sessions for which they do not receive any personal gratification. They enter such situations solely with the intention to allow their partners to fulfill their own needs or fetishes. They do this in exchange of money for the session activities

wikipedia

 

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 Some research finds that people who engage in this kinky activity are mentally okay.

 

People who are into kinky sex may be psychologically healthier than those who are not, says a new study. Researchers found that people who were involved in BDSM — bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism — scored better on certain indicators of mental health than those who did not bring kink into the bedroom, reported LiveScience.

The study, which was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in May, surveyed 902 people who practice BDSM and 434 people who prefer so-called “vanilla” (non-kinky) sex. Each person filled out questionnaires regarding their personalities, general well-being, sensitivity to rejection and style of attachment in relationships. The participants were not aware of the purpose of the study.

Despite past assumptions that BDSM proclivities might be correlated with previous abuse, rape or mental disorders (research has shown that they’re not), this survey found that kinky people actually scored better on many indicators of mental health than those who didn’t practice BDSM, reported LiveScience. According to Reuters, BDSM-friendly participants were found to be less neurotic, more open, more aware of and sensitive to rejection, more secure in their relationships and have better overall well-being.

Andreas Wismeijer, a psychologist at Nyenrode Business University in the Netherlands and the lead author on the study, told LiveScience that people involved in the BDSM community may have scored better on these surveys because they tend to be more aware of and communicative about their sexual desires, or because they have done some “hard psychological work” to accept and live with sexual needs that are beyond the scope of what is often considered socially acceptable to discuss in the mainstream.

This research isn’t necessarily representative of the general population since participants were selected on a volunteer basis, but it does support the argument for removing BDSM from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). In the current DSM, BDSM fetishes are listed as “paraphilia,” which essentially encompasses any “unusual” sexual preferences

Huffington Post

 

Fifty Shades of Grey has sparked a nice little debate that has people talking which is a good thing. However I believe when it comes to sex especially when it’s between two consenting adults -leave it alone. What people do in the privacy of their home is none of the publics’ business unless you put it out there for the world to see. If moms want to read about Christian Grey then let them read about him – HE IS NOT REAL! this book is meant for entertainment that is all and truly the only reason this book and film is such a big deal is because of the taboo subject of bdsm. I have read plenty of romance novels and have seen many on the shelves in bookstores and walmart and not a single one of them has caught the attention of the American public like Fifty Shades of Grey.  We as a society should be careful of what is put into our media but trying to regulate or control what a married couple or consenting adults want to do sexually is too much. If bdsm is not your taste then dont’ go see the movie, and don’t read the book, nobody is dragging you to see this film ( unless you’re a guy and your female companion wants to see this for V-Day then I’m sorry for you) just let people be.

 

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